怎麼那一天的我們，都默默的微笑很久。

One of those nights when it gets the best of me.

"Godly success comes by when you compare only with yourself. 

Someone told me today :p 

Jia you ah!"

"I felt that way before too, but I learnt not to give a shit, 

and that the only person I must defeat is myself."

"Don't think that way as everyone is unique in their own ways! 

Stop the comparison, live your life dude!"

"The only person you should try to beat, 

is the person you were yesterday. 

Put your head up, we can make it."

****************

I just thank God for the strength He's given me when I'm weak.
I'm really, really grateful for these friends.
For all of their encouragements when I needed them the most.
:')

2 down, 4 more to go.
You can do this Lawrence!

I just wish be those people who can play all the time but still get good results for their exams.

Sometimes it comes back to me. 

It was just a harsh wake up call.

Second paper just ended.
Two more to go next week.
God is good, all the time.
I can do this.


Sometimes in life God let you lose someone to make you appreciate someone else even more.
To make you realise who's been there the whole time when your eyes were blinded and your mind was overwhelmed at that moment.

It's just a harsh wake up call.

****************

But doesn't our friendship mean anything to you? 

 Can't you see that I'm hurting? Can't you see it's not that I don't care? Can't you see that I played it cool and don't find you anymore is because I can't risk putting in my emotions again? Can I have an answer, please?

These people.

It's amazing how one thing leads to another.

I really thank God for these people.

If I have not met them, I really don't know how would I be like right now. 

  

Back in action.

Library has become my second home for the past few days.
Two quizzes this week had turn me into a crazy study-freak.
Going to uni and only leaving the library at night.
The pressure I was experiencing was really no play play.
I didn't take it seriously for my first quiz about a month ago.
In fact I even slack everyday without doing proper daily revisions and only started studying like, 2 days before the quiz.
So ever since I got back my first quiz result, I sworn to study harder if I don't wanna get disappointed like that again.
So the pressure I put on myself is a lil' too high this time.
To the point that I'm really physically and mentally drained. Burnt out.
And of course some other stuffs that really bothered me for quite a while already.

But, God is faithful.
Through this period of time, I got to know the 'guy gang' from our Pharmacy group when I was in the library.
It was a really huge group of guys(we're like a gang of gangsters when we were walking around lol)
They are really really cool.
Before I knew them, I never know they could be so funny but yet so serious when it comes to our studies.
Seriously, sometimes I can't stop laughing talking with them.
Like when you get to know someone more, they can really make you za dao sometimes haha
But then I was intimidated(in a good way), they're really smart too when it comes to their studies.
During our revisions together, you can see they really know a lot and you really can learn a lot from them too if you hang around with them.
It motivates you to work harder and become better too.
Like you can have all the fun you want when you're with them but at the same time you won't lose your feet and will still study hard as how a student should.
All in all, they're just really fun to be with.
Like a whole gang of brothers :)

To be honest, I had a really really rough and messed up week.
I wouldn't have made it on my own.
Thank God I found them.
At least I'm happy with them.
At least I can laugh loudly with them.
At least I'm back to my old self, the happy and cheerful guy with them around.
At least I'm myself again.

Guess that sometimes you just need to find the right people to have around in your life.

Got to go now, time to go out and celebrate with them again.
The post-exam feel sure feels good, especially with them. :D
Ciao!

**********************************

Appreciate people who make you laugh, people who appreciate you. Let go of those that don't.

    

Moving on.

They say moving on wasn't easy, 

until you meet someone that can replace them.

and i might just have found that someone.

Disconnect to reconnect.

Fyi i just subscribed a smart plan for my phone.
meaning that i can online anywhere i want to starting now. XD
but then suddenly this video showed up from no where -_-
lol anyway it's a really nice vid.
okay okay i admit i'm a bit like the ppl in the vid too sometimes *guilty as charged*
that's why it touches me even more.
especially the part when everyone puts down their phones and the music that time. omg instant goosebumps!
and the lil' girl is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute.
melts when she smiles and tilts her head haha

***************************

Yesterday finally went for futsal again. the last game was around EIGHT MONTHS ago o.o
it was nice. but totally exhausted after the game.
whole body and bones feels like shattering haha
saw him again too, sometimes i really don't know who did i think of when i saw him. himself or her?
haih. it's best that i don't care too. but it's this guy that i admit lost. i totally lost.

 if i'm the old friend, then yeah i'm fine. how bout you?

"And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there."
 

howareyou? (:

recentlyyouvebeenmiaeverywherenowyoudontplayfacebookdontplaytweeterdontevenbloganymoresopleasetellmehowcaniknowhowareyouoverthere?atleastletmeknowcozistillcare

but still i'm updating :) for you

and lol sorry for that day timo was just being stupid. geez we don't need messengers ok haha

Got the message?

If only love can be in this form.

don't worry. i'm doing just fine :)

Honestly, this won't do
How is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
But I know I'm such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning
But you know I don't feel that way
Who will take all this pain away?
I know it's wrong for me to say.

"That girl".
this song's still so nice until now.
Day 85

Days still pass

I think i don't love you anymore :)

Day 76.
And i think it should end now.

so i finally decided to end the silence

i finally took up the courage and texted her.

yeah. after 1 month.

终于告一段落了

just want you to know that, i'm fine now. i think i'm over with it. all the things that i wanted to know had been asked and all the things that kept unknown in myself are resolved by now. so i guess that this is it. i never wanted it to be like this as well at the very first place. i gotta look forward. there's so many things in life so much better than this. i will miss out so many if i continue to swell in the sorrow. i fought the battle, and i lost. bitter sweet symphony. maybe it was just a stupid decision i made. if i have not been that naive that time, everything won't go wrong like this today. maybe it was just a mistake after all. but yeah you're right, there will be a better future and i'm looking forward for it. thanks for the memories you gave. i'll be strong, i promise, old friend.

直等到你再次的想起我。

Listen, everything happens for a reason.

haha cindy now i finally know why are you so into this song :P



thanks :)

(English Lyrics)

I'm gonna be strong
Fine, breaking up is better
This was going to happen between us anyway
You were going to do this anyway
This is better, better than falling deeper in love anyway
I think of it as fortunate, that's why I'm okay

I gave you all my all
I believed you so I gave you my all
But you threw that away
I gave you my everything
So I'm gonna be okay

I'm gonna be okay
I'll be okay
Gonna be okay
Baby without you
Without you
Baby without you
Without you

Without you, I'll be cooler
More cooler
I'm going to stand up
Without you
I'll live on
Without you

Listen, everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason
This is the last time you'll meet another man
Your words don't even make sense
Just turn around
It hurts me too much
I don't want to see you anymore

I was being fooled all this while
I didn't even know who you were
But I know now
You don't know love
So that's why I'm gonna be okay

Gonna be okay
I'll be okay
Gonna be okay
Baby without you
Without you
Baby without you
Without you

Without you, I'll be cooler
More cooler
I'm going to stand up
Without you
I'll live on
Without you

Why are you doing this to me, why?
Why do you have to do this to me, make me cry?
Was it enough to throw everything we had?
All of the times we were together
And the times we can never be together again
Aren't they wasteful, to you?
Does it not matter to you?
Even now, are you okay without me?

I'm gonna be okay
Gonna be okay
I'll be okay
Gonna be okay
Baby without you
Without you
Baby without you
Without you

Without you, I'll be cooler
More cooler
I'm going to stand up
Without you
I'll live on
Without you.

一段以为会天长地久的爱情走到了落幕的时候。

一个以为会执她之手，与她偕老的爱人走到了分手的时候。

我们该如何面对。

该如何给这段感情一个交代，该如何给爱过的，也正爱着的那个人一个结局？

解决无非是两种

纠缠与不纠缠

是的，我理解，我清楚，我明白

眼睁睁的看着全心全意付出的感情

那个爱着的人离开

是多么残忍，是多么绝望的事

可是残忍和绝望不是纠缠对方的理由

是的，我理解

纠缠是想挽回对方的心

留住对方的情

希望重新开始

将感情继续下去，

给彼此一个新的机会～

给爱一个机会去厮守～

可是，分手的时候。越是纠缠不休。越会让自己伤的更加体无完肤。伤害的不止是自己的心和身。还会让对方，面对你的纠缠说出更绝情的话，甚至做出更绝情的事。

纠缠也践踏了自己的尊严。你越是不死心，不放弃，越是挽留，越是纠缠。只会让对方看轻你，让他走的更快，更远。

这样就把自己从绝望推入了万劫不复的地狱。

如果他真的要分手，那就让他走吧，干净利落的走。笑着让他走。

即使心里已经哭成了海。也不要去纠缠，挽留。

大方的让他走。也许，某天，他还会想起你，还会想起你们的旧情，记起你的好．

我深信

他应该很了解我对他的感情

能够体会出，我对他付出的是真心

既然

他不肯留下，那我何必纠缠

那就放他走，给他自由。

可是，我不纠缠不等于我不想他，不等于，我没有爱过他。

我思念他的心，依然折磨我在日日夜夜。

往往别人不经意的一句话。就能让我想起他。

走在寒冷的街上，再也没有他温暖的手握住我冰冷的手。

那些孤寂的夜里，再也不会有他温暖的拥抱温暖我。

每个失眠的夜，再也没有他的句句关心，字字问候。

甚至电话也一声不响，陪着我沉默。曾经为了他一个电话而欢喜不已

他不在，时间却不会停止不前

如果时间可以停止

我希望

时间停在我们最相爱的那段日子

他不在

我的生活还要继续

一如已往

心底的伤，欲盖弥彰

自己的伤，自己解决

自己的心情，自己整理

自己的疼痛，自己埋葬

但，不会找他

我能做的就是咬着牙自己对自己说，

坚持下去。

卷缩在角落，等待着伤口平复，

我们都是凡尘男女

挣不出纠缠的情网

逃不过爱与被爱的旋涡

心碎神伤后

是漫无止境的寂寞

幸福的感觉也许只能刹那

刹那过后，是一个人的落寞

上帝让我在错误的时间遇上了你

我...哭了

它让我在正确的时间离开了你

你...会哭吗？

好想你能知道

不纠缠，不证明我不爱你

不纠缠，不证明我不想你

不纠缠，不证明我没伤

只是不纠缠

是我能够为我们曾经的爱

能为你做的最后一件事。

i need some rest. so sleepy :O

在你面前我始终还是这么的无法自拔。

credits to terrence! ;)

Christina Perri - Jar of hearts.

I know I cant take one more step towards you
Cause all thats waiting is regret
And don't you know im not your ghost anymore
You lost the love
I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all you're promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are
runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

damn jackson you know me man

came over this in my man's blog. damn it's lyrics are so vivid, a little too vivid.

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
And what you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now i'm picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes, so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, More than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

'Cause I got over you
'Cause I got over you
I got over you
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you.