仿佛还是昨天，可是昨天已非常遥远。

差一点 骗了自己骗了你 ，
爱与被爱不一定成正比，

我知道被疼是一种运气 。

Back in action.

Library has become my second home for the past few days.
Two quizzes this week had turn me into a crazy study-freak.
Going to uni and only leaving the library at night.
The pressure I was experiencing was really no play play.
I didn't take it seriously for my first quiz about a month ago.
In fact I even slack everyday without doing proper daily revisions and only started studying like, 2 days before the quiz.
So ever since I got back my first quiz result, I sworn to study harder if I don't wanna get disappointed like that again.
So the pressure I put on myself is a lil' too high this time.
To the point that I'm really physically and mentally drained. Burnt out.
And of course some other stuffs that really bothered me for quite a while already.

But, God is faithful.
Through this period of time, I got to know the 'guy gang' from our Pharmacy group when I was in the library.
It was a really huge group of guys(we're like a gang of gangsters when we were walking around lol)
They are really really cool.
Before I knew them, I never know they could be so funny but yet so serious when it comes to our studies.
Seriously, sometimes I can't stop laughing talking with them.
Like when you get to know someone more, they can really make you za dao sometimes haha
But then I was intimidated(in a good way), they're really smart too when it comes to their studies.
During our revisions together, you can see they really know a lot and you really can learn a lot from them too if you hang around with them.
It motivates you to work harder and become better too.
Like you can have all the fun you want when you're with them but at the same time you won't lose your feet and will still study hard as how a student should.
All in all, they're just really fun to be with.
Like a whole gang of brothers :)

To be honest, I had a really really rough and messed up week.
I wouldn't have made it on my own.
Thank God I found them.
At least I'm happy with them.
At least I can laugh loudly with them.
At least I'm back to my old self, the happy and cheerful guy with them around.
At least I'm myself again.

Guess that sometimes you just need to find the right people to have around in your life.

Got to go now, time to go out and celebrate with them again.
The post-exam feel sure feels good, especially with them. :D
Ciao!

**********************************

Appreciate people who make you laugh, people who appreciate you. Let go of those that don't.

    

Nothing

I'm not okay.
Especially when I'm alone, I tend to overthink.
Loneliness never fails to sink in.
So I'm finding happiness.
In the pursuit of my own happiness.
Find myself companies, people who I can be happy with.
People who can make me laugh.
Just so that I could be distracted from the sadness for a while. 
But how can I be okay? You used to be my company. 
I'm really really not good with this kind of changes.

Square one.

When September ends.

We've always joked about this song when September ends and the first day of October came.
But I never knew it could make me this emotional.

**********************************

"Come here.. You know they say life is short.
You wake up one day, and on that day. All your dreams and, everything you wished for and you wanted, gone just like that.
People, people get old and you know, things change and situations change and what I want is, I just I want this moment right now, this day and my feelings for you, the way you look right now, how I look at you, I just want this to last forever, you know."

"And it will, I mean no matter what we've always had this and had each other and nothing can change that. 
But I just want you to know, no matter what you'll always have somebody here for you, always. 
I'm never gonna leave you, I'm never gonna leave you. 
I love you."

"I know."

"Don't let go of me."

"I won't."

"Don't let go of me."

"I won't, I won't."

:'(

the vow.

濫好人

就，觉得你开心，我也就会开心。我就是这么傻。

也不知道自己是怎么了
就觉得她受伤了，伤心了
自己也会很心疼，

就真的很想保护她。

:))

It's a real test.

Just when I thought my days couldn't get any worse and that I could be better starting today,
I got struck down again.
And this time it's about my studies.

Got back my microbio quiz result today,
and to be honest I was really disappointed.
Even though I admit I was still fooling around last time and didn't prepare well for it(since I only started studying like, two days before the quiz lol),
and even though I told myself to take it easy and be happy-go-lucky with the result when I got it,
but then still, when even your lecturer told you that you must work harder for finals,
more or less you will feel a bit disappointed inside.

I don't know why but recently I've been having really really rough days,
bad things just keep happening to me one after another.
I really don't know why but I really pity myself.
Seriously, how can so many bad things happen to someone in such a short period of time?
I really don't think my heart can take it anymore.
I may look stronger and fine outside,
but my world is tumbling down inside.

Season of sufferings.
I believe all these happen for a reason,
to make me stronger, to make me a better person.
God, if this is really a test for me,
I pray for the strength to overcome these hardships,
please carry me through it.
Because this is really too much for me to take and I really can't do it on my own.
I really can't.

I really gotta learn to love myself more too. I deserved more. 

爱是你的 我是我的 完了。

Because actually you just wish for someone that would care for you as much as you'll care for her,
someone that would love you as much as you'll love her,
someone that appreciates you,
someone that's afraid to lose you,
someone that wouldn't take the things you do for her for granted,
someone that would make you feel like she's making an effort to keep you too.


And I'm exhausted.
she's been there all the time. maybe sincerity is what really touches you. why are you so blind lawrence?

有點怕。

我的愛 是說停不能停， 

已經濃的不能說是曾經，

也可說成我是錯的 还未曾變成真的， 

也沒談到多少你需要的愛。
  

You better believe.

That he's a lucky guy.
Don't I at least mean something to you? 

Keep calm.

I'm playing it solo.
Fyeah.
If this continues on you should just be forever alone for your whole life la. Losing this game for so many times, aren't you sick and tired of it already? Why the fuck did you let your guards down again this time? Isn't the pain she caused you last time enough? Why the fuck did you let another girl in again? Why the fuck did you fall for her? Just look at how pathetic this is now, she doesn't even appreciate the things that you did for her, don't even have to mention if she treated you as someone special or not. Look at this shit, she's in love with someone else even after all that you've done. To think that you once even thought you were the guy she mentioned. Your wishful thinking hahahahahahaha lawrence, you pathetic moron. 

Sigh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG. pathetic.