nostalgia

finally. yesterday i finished deleting the unknown friends in my facebook that bothered me for a while since then. everytime when i checked my facebook wall for the latest news feeds many of them are from someone i don't even know. but now after deleting them wah it feels so good to just look at your wall with our your KNOWN friends' news :D zz it was so tired cleaning them up you know? walao wasted two days of my afternoons ahh why must i be so naive back then to approve anyone that added me as a friend -_-

but in between it's not really that bad too. when checking on my friend list, i found back a lot of long lost friends. those that we're not in contact for some times. i got a chance to update myself of them when i viewed their profile or even sent a message. it really feels good to talk back to old friends :D

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and another thing that i did yesterday was looking through the photos in my old facebook albums. memories were flashing back into my mind that made me gasp for a while. saw old friends from secondary school. saw various scout gatherings. saw the things we all did together before. saw our preparations for spm. saw my guitar. saw my home. saw birthday parties. saw my birthday present they made for me last year. saw stayovers. saw chinese new years. saw the gatherings before i came to kl. saw many many other things that really kept me thinking and thinking and sometimes unintentionally winded up a little smile on my face.

it's not that my new friends here are not good. it's just that there were too many good memories that i've been through with you guys my old friends. and some i barely can know where are you and how are you doing now.

i miss the times we do all the things together.

i miss the times we laughed so loud that we got so awkward when people around stared at us.

i miss the times we will be talking about football and criticize the opponent's players.

i miss the times we played futsal together.

i miss the times we can see each other everyday.

i miss the times we went for all kinds of scout activities.

i miss the times when we all study together.

i miss the times i made you all laugh when i was fooling around in the class and made our teachers speechless.

i miss the times when i fool around with her everytime in class throwing her chalks, patting her head and calling her foolish nicknames.

i miss the times i reminded her of something important that she forgot to do and she'll still thank me for saving her ass despite all the bad things i did to her.

i miss the time she would tell me that she really don't know how to live without me telling her what to do.

i miss the times we were all so tensed studying for our spm but sometimes in class we can still crack up a little joke and to care for each other.

i miss you too timo, my best, best pal ever. still can't cope with not seeing you everyday and talk to you about anything like before, after all we've both been classmates since we were in primary four! haha :')
(if you're seeing this i just want you to know that i really do cherish our friendship and everything that we've been through, and everything that you've done for me since we first met and became friends. and that, you're still my best buddy despite all things, really)

and i miss.. i miss, everything back then.

friends, i miss you all. i really do :'(

a trip to ktt and a day at pavilion

this post is for haziq. it's really rare, i mean really really rare that someone will support me and my blog and asks me to post things on it. so i really really do appreciate them :)

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so last fri at last i went up to ktt. the whole aim from the beginning was because of her but i also wish to meet some of my friends especially JACKSON that really helped me a lot since we all came to the west m'sia HAHA! so after school i went back and pack for the things i need for the stay over and board my school's shutter bus to the ktm station. after that i boarded the ktm to nilai station, and from there, taxi to ktt. hiak

when i reached there i was like, wow so small? (lol no offence dude) but can you imagine that all three (the college itself, the condo the students live in and the cafeteria) were ALL in just one row of 'shophouses'? i mean just one block. no wonder the ktt-ians kept complaining xD

then jackson came to 'escort' me. we went exploring ktt as he explained to me what's the function of each building. after that we went up to his room (all his housemates went back to their home town) so we like own the whole unit. hiak

so we were thinking of how to surprise the others (fyi that time only jackson knows that i'm there) shu fei and ying ying were not at ktt that time so left yee tsin. she was taking her nap that time so i thought i can just go into her unit then wait at there for her to wake up then, surprise! LOL but then jackson told me you think too much coz boys are not allow to girls' units -_- crap.

so a change of plan to go to a place somehow called 'bintang walk'. it's an open air area where there are wooden tables and chairs for everyone to sit and eat and chat bla3. so jackson asked tsin to come down so that's how we met in ktt. (it wasn't a great surprise tho, stupid girl told me she already guessed that i'm coming ceh got touched jiu say ma, still crap so much :P) then we talked there after i passed her the dutch lady FULL CREAM milk and mars bar (her favs) that i brought along :D

then guess what ying ying came back from doing her groceries at giant after a while and joined the chat at bintang walk. and then shu fei saw us too then come over to greet me. that time she was about to go out for a DATE so after a brief talk she was gone in a car with her friends. then when we're heading back we saw haziq, also just came back from giant. told you it's small there, the only place to do groceries is at giant LOL

after that we decided to go for a walk to the hill top. jackson tsin and ying ying joined me. then ying ying went back earlier. so only three of us left when we reached the hill top. woot the scenery is very nice to tell the truth. and that's when it started to rain. OMG we're at the hill top, and there's no shelter AT ALL! so we gotta 'kiss' the rain the whole way back to ktt. haha first time walking in the rain without running for any shelter. indeed the first time, and it was with you. ha! :) zz saw too many romantic stories bout walking in the rain LOL (btw sorry la jackson, made you become a wet chicken just for me xD)

then that night after dinner we all went to bintang walk again. we lim 'milk' together, the milk that i brought for her (because her unit does not have a fridge. apuhhh lame si) so we chatted, sang songs, and took photos. after the sembayang haziq joined us too.

and so the night ends with me playing jackson's lappy (OF COZ IS FACEBOOK AGAIN) then sleep on the bed next to his.

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the next morning we went to pavilion by the adik me van (the ktt-ians always use this as their transport to go somewhere else) that morning jackson, haziq, tsin, ying ying and ying ying's 3 housemates followed. we took photo in front of the famous water fountain when we reached there. and after that the day at pavilion started.

still i gotta say. pavilion is the nicest mall i've been to since i came to kl seriously. omg when you see those extremely branded goods shop at the first and second floor your saliva just won't stop dripping. and i really like the atmosphere inside, the air cond is just fine, the surroundings are just fine too, not too loud nor quiet and it's really really a good place for shopping. :D

so we ate our lunch at nando's and we also watched 'the expendables'. it's really a awesome movie with so much 'big ka' actors inside. everyone thinks so except for jackson. haih you outta your mind ah jackson 1/5?? please regrade it la it's not that bad! ==

and then frankly speaking after that the whole day jackson haziq and tsin just accompanied me to hunt for my new shoes. (because my poor adidas superstar got torn up at the front after 3 years of wearing it wooh such a long time tho xD) and finally after exploring the WHOLE building (no joking) i bought myself a puma :D (it was very nice too i like it's tap shoelace. so that next time i won't have to bother about tying my shoelace when it drops)

we had sakae sushi for dinner and then after that they all went back in the adik me van. at dinner we talked a bit, a lot actually :) so everything that i wish for is that you won't forget what we've talked about. okay?

so i went back, alone. to my condo, to my unit. no one knows how i really feel. the feeling's different. it's when i was in my bathroom alone thinking of what really happened, that's when i got a hold of myself. maybe this is the last time. maybe it's not. i really don't know ..

gahhh what the heck but despite all that, it really feels great to be there in ktt. hehe :D wish to go again someday. one day.

last night

haha it was long since the last time i called.

i miss your voice.

found this from timo's blog

当你经历过爱与被爱,

学会了爱,

才会知道什么是你需要的,

也才会找到最适合你,

能够相处一辈子的人。。

maybe this is what it should have been

maybe it's really better this way. Maybe God wants me to learn something from this. Maybe this is what God wants it to be. We're much more happier this way. Don't fret because i believe that God is in control of all of this. It'll still be when the right time comes. i'm glad that we're happy again

加油！:)

reality

they told me this was the nicest photo that we ever took.

The only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

如果我们真的分手

从一开始的互不熟悉，到如今的彼此了解；

从一开始浅薄的想念，到如今深深的眷恋；

从最初很在意在你面前的形象，到现在的毫无顾忌；

从当初的不知道该怎么爱你，到现在不知道该如何分离。

一路走来，经历了很多，我们也都付出了很多。


如果，

如果我们真的分手，

你会怎样？

如果我们分手了，

我一定会感到很寂寞无助，

耍性子闹脾气的时候会感到闷得慌，

电话短信MSN都不知道该发给谁。



如果我们分手了，

我一定会恨自己的自以为是，

原本总以为，

不管我们交错多少次，

总可以再找到时间地点，

重新牵起彼此的手，

可却只是自己的一厢情愿罢了。



如果我们分手了，

在一起那些痛苦的记忆会无限缩小甚至蒸发，

而幸福的回忆却只会日益膨胀，

到最后甚至忘记为什么分手，

仅仅只是想你，

想你，

想你。

如果我们分手了，

就算删掉你的手机号码，

我一定还是能倒背如流，

在夜深人静的时候红着眼眶，

慢慢按下那些键，

却始终找不到理由拨出去，

即使你淡出我的生命，

却仍然占据我的记忆。



如果我们分手了，

我会把你送给我的东西，

写给我的文字，

统统藏起来，

然后在夜深人静的时候不断拿出又放好，

想看又不敢再碰触。

如果我们分手了，

我一定还是会忍不住开你的校内、MSN，

最好的结局是看见你把关于我的都删了，

只剩空白，

最坏的结局是还有照片，

但却已经不是我的笑脸了，

于是我肯定会很恶毒的诅咒你，

凭什么你那么快就能从痛苦中走出来，

我却还要念念不忘。



如果我们分手了，

我一定还是不会删掉那些照片，

摘掉那根红绳，

因为曾经的每一次争吵都让它们来来去去，

可是这一次如果我删了，

我摘了，

它们就不再回来了。



如果我们分手了，

我不想再看见你，

因为我害怕那时的你在我的眼前，

我还是想牵牵你，

抱抱你，

亲亲你，

但是我已经没有资格了。

如果我们分手了，

我还是想和你做朋友，

这样在我想你的时候，

我可以想着还能找你，

虽然我也许并不会这么做。

如果我们分手了，

我一定会害怕出门，

因为无论到哪里，

都有我们的回忆，

背着我牵着我到处乱逛的你，

看着我流泪会陪我一起伤心的你，

陪着我发疯陪着我快乐的你，

为了说一句我爱你而不好意思犹豫半天的你，

把我纳入你的将来并为此拼命努力的你，

每一次同学聚会都会想到把我带上的你，

害怕我担心上学回家两点一线的你，

几乎把所有的零花钱都花在我身上的你，

因为给我准备了惊喜而自己开心半天的你，

即使有一大堆行李也不肯让拎一件的你，

拥挤的地铁里紧紧牵着我的手的你，

在凛冽的寒风又或者飘泊的雨中还是会等我的你，

陪我逛街不厌其烦地为我出主意选衣服的你，

每年寒暑假陪我出去旅游一次的你，

因为我乱玩，乱吃东西，胡作非为而大发雷霆的你，

每一次都被我搞得崩溃却依旧每一次都原谅我包容我来找我的 你。

遍地留下了自己的痕迹，

最后却跑掉的你。



如果，

如果，

如果我们真的分手，

我一定是不想的。



请记得，

如果我们分手了，

我还是等你的电话，

回你的短信，

在你需要我或是想见我的时候出现。

因为你是我的独家记忆，

一直，一直都在心底。

guess that this is it.

The truth is that I love you
And I need to know from you if you love me too
The truth is that I want you completely
So if you love me too
I need to know from you what the truth is.

-Charice. the truth is

3:13-3:38 :')

"..oh darling i wish you were here"

never heard any song as sweet as this. now, dedicate this song to you :)

'..because it takes two to whisper quietly.'

the emo side of me

she told me that i'm too emo sometimes and i shouldn't have shown it all out in my blog and facebook. :P i guess next time you all won't see this side of me in this blog anymore.






so i'll just have to keep that to myself, in another place, another space where i can be, the emo side of me.

who is salt?

thanks for the day dear. i really had a nice time with you.

p/s: i won't change for no one, but for you, i will.

songs_cure my emptiness

一首歌

可以影响一个人的情绪

可以唤起一个人的回忆

可以勾起对一个人的思念

听着一首熟悉的歌

想起熟悉的人

寻回熟悉的感觉

忆起熟悉的曾经

..熟悉的歌不停地播放着

记忆库里找到了你

那首歌__似乎述说了我们的故事。

limyi this post is for you

limyi thanks for viewing and i just glimpse through yours too after some time.

i love your blog very much don't know why. maybe i can't find another blog that's written like this. that describe the owner's feeling so well, so precisely. it makes me feel emo i don't like being emo but somehow, i still like it. lol?

i like reading through what you wrote, the words you used, the descriptions, how did you express your feelings and how did you utter everything deep inside your heart out on your blog. maybe because now i'm quite alike with you and i'm quite emo myself too nowadays. especially quiet, lonely nights like this. oh, whatever.

p/s: your chinese is really hot, literally. eg 是的 我很开心 笑得很开心 却只能哭给自己听. lol

(imma still a amateur blogger so gotta learn some blogging technic from you, sensei xD)

.. and btw limyi, do you think about yee tsin? coz i'm missing her like crazy